Saturday, July 30, 2011

bad

I'm such a bad person.. How can I improve myself...?

Posted by Axronsam at 10:07 PM

Friday, July 29, 2011

headache.

F*_k.

fking all the same.

I dam irritated. super irritated...

But what ca I do? Just smile and take the blame. Just smile and endure everything. Perseverance and endurance. I never ask for anything much. Never asked for too many.
I just want everything to be simple. I just want to have peace.
But this world is to fking noisy. Bunch of noise pollution.

What if I'm very selfish?
What if I don't care about anyone of you?
I just study my own stuff and fk care anyone of you?

Yet I forgive all the mistake you humans made. Every single one of it. Even when you don't even know you're wrong. I closed my eyes and hope you'll learn and change better.

No wonder I find it hard to trust anyone.. Even the only person I seems to be able to trust in that classroom.. I've seem to lose some hope in it. How can I trust you when you don't even trust me that much?
I care so much. I worry so much. Don't you feel anything...?
Then what am I doing all these for? I'm not the one giving you all those laughter anyway.. And feeling that all your "thanks" are getting empty.. Its like you're saying it just to say it.

I don't what to think this way. I hate my brain. Yet everyone say I'm smart and want a brain like mind...
If they really have a brain like mine, they'll surely regret.

I must maintain calm. Maintain patience....
I need some time to peace my mind up...
But how...?


I shouldn't be like this.

Posted by Axronsam at 11:03 PM

Sunday, July 24, 2011

your thanks.

I don't know why.. But it ache every time you say "Thanks" to me.. Am I getting sick..?

Posted by Axronsam at 2:06 PM

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

cute.

你那么可爱.. 我哪里舍得恨你呢..? 能看到你开心,我就安心了... 哈哈哈... 就怪我没运气, 不够好吧...

Posted by Axronsam at 10:40 PM

tool.

Now I'm only a study resource to you..? Great.. Well, at least I still get to help you in some ways..

Posted by Axronsam at 8:10 PM

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

headache

why does my head hurts everynight..? then I'll have weird dream.. then wake up heavy headed.. and most likely spoil the mood.. But in order not to be obvious.. I still need to force out my smiles in class.. its tiring.. They won't know what I'm thinking.. still say that they know me well.. we only met for one year plus.. and they thought they are smart expecting everything..

I'm sorry but...
I'm just not as good as how everyone said I am...
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Posted by Axronsam at 11:04 PM

distractions

My mind is corrupted.
I can't get my mind straight..
Feeling like theres too much distractions.
I'm feeling lost again..

I don't know what I should do..

Posted by Axronsam at 12:01 PM

appreciation \

who really appreciate me? I really like to know..

Posted by Axronsam at 12:00 PM

can't hate

i really dont wish to have a feeling of hate.. I forgive people.. I don't really blame them. Yet they might just take me as a fool..

I'm feeling lost again..
I'm losing some trust..
I trusted you to easily...

But I'll still help you out,
at least till we're out of this school..
Then maybe you'll be on your own.
I might just not care anymore.

I'm being too nice..
Maybe my horoscope is true about my personality..

I blame myself for being so foolish and stubborn.

I forgive you once again.. everytime you gave me that empty feeling of "thanks".

I'm still just a single man.
.. dont get me wrong.
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Posted by Axronsam at 12:24 AM

laughter

"I see how long you can laugh before you cry of regrets."
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Posted by Axronsam at 12:15 AM

Friday, July 15, 2011

helping.

No one could have helped you so much.
Spend so much time to help you.

Yet you just gave a empty "Thanks" and walk away..

Nevermind, I forgive you.

Yet you still don't trust me as much as I trusted you.

What is this?

No matter what, I'm still losing out?

Why the F*ck am I worrying so much for you when you don't even care so much about me..?
Yet you kept following those that makes you weaker.

Such fool.
That fool is either me or you..

Don't regret your choices.
Because I won't as I'm already numb to be having feelings of such regrets.

Posted by Axronsam at 3:31 PM

Thursday, July 14, 2011

silence

Whose there to listen to my silence in the first place..?

Posted by Axronsam at 10:41 PM

numbness

Its all gone already.
I can't feel those expressions anymore..

Its getting more numbed.

I'm just trying to help..
Yet why did you push me away after I've helped you?

You treat me like a tool.
Almost everyone are the same..

I won't be as nice anymore..

I'll just let it be..

Who tell me to be born with a pisces personality..

I'll never blame anyone.
All these will just be a result of my foolishness...

hahahaa...

Posted by Axronsam at 10:34 PM